We are a voyeuristic society.  Now, I don’t mean that in the literal sense of the official definition of a voyeur – I am speaking about how we like to be a “prying observer who is usually seeking the sordid or the scandalous”  Creeper, troller, stalker etc…. In all honesty, we have gotten good as trying to make it look less scandalous – but we are still “peeping” into people’s lives on a daily basis. Don’t look now, but the fact that you are reading my blog,makes you some sort of voyeur – looking through your facebook, makes me one too.  Everyone is doing it…. so it must be ok! (Growing up, if I used this excuse of everyone is doing it, I would have been asked, “would you jump off the Brooklyn Bridge too if everyone was doing it?” Well, it worked since I lived near the Brooklyn Bridge….)

Truth is that we have been lulled into this mind set that has now become a societal norm.  Social media has taken the place of what used to be one on one interactions. Don’t get all excited here – I am not against social media.  In fact, I rather like it. But there are behaviors attached to using it that are quite interesting.

For instance – parenting and social media.  I have always been and still am “friends” with my kids and many of their friends on social media.  This afforded me the opportunity to at least “watch” if not interact with the conversations that were taking place in their circles as they matured.  It also affords me the opportunity to freak out.  So, if you are going to parent with social media – be prepared.

Job hunting and social media.  Every time I have had an interview and I know the names of the folks on the team – yup, I am “creeping” into their lives to see what I can find out about them.   I also creep on institutional pages, employee directories, the web… Recently, my son was going to get a new boss.  He told me his name and even though I could not find much out about him from his locked down FB – his wife sure had a lot to say! Which led me to a variety of other sources….

You go on a trip… and voyeuristically, so do I!  Now that one I LOVE!   My friends go all kinds of places that I will never be able to go, but I get to enjoy so much of the world through their pictures and commentary.  Can anyone remember slides of the “Missionary Trip”?  I hated those – they went on FOREVER.

The possibilities are endless – give me a name and through some form of social media and the use of the web, I will get you information.  I should have been a private eye.

This thought process is not about being more private/careful with your info.  It is about how enticed we are to “know” about others WITHOUT engaging with them. At least at first. It is so much “safer” to get to know someone online than in person.  There is time to think about your response, time to decide if you are going to engage, and time to decide to “delete”.  Whoops – sorry, I never got your message. But that doesn’t change our desire to “know”.  On the plus side, it also affords us the opportunity to connect with people that without social media we would never have connected with – because there is this buffer.  I have some FB friends that I was not very close to in college, that I have developed long distance social media relationships with.  And I love that too!

The bigger question is what do we do with the information that we find out about others in our lives?  Some trolling is simply used to give yourself a leg up in certain situations,”know before you go” kind of thing. Some stalking is to see if we measure up, or to see if we are doing better than our compadres.  And some creeping is nothing more than malicious.  Better watch myself.

As this blog adventure continues, I make daily decisions on just what information I can let you in on … and for the most part – I am not holding much back.  So feel satisfied, that  you are getting the goods on me.  In fact, being who I am and sharing who I am is usually more than most people can handle …more than once I have read on peoples faces “her poor husband”.  Don’t worry about him -he holds his own just fine!

So think twice today as you “look into” your contacts lives.  Better yet – ask yourself, what brought them to write that post or tweet that thought or not respond to your instant message.  You might be prompted to actually reach out and touch them!