Part two: if you did not read yesterday’s blog – do that first.

Lane sharing is not acceptable on an airplane.  I am fully aware of my “size” and I fit just fine in the allotted airplane space.  While the space is small, I still have plenty of room under the seat in front of me to extend my legs (I try to never have more than a purse stowed underneath) and keep well within my bounds.  I also desperately try to sit at the window or the aisle and never in the middle. But someone must be in the middle – especially on Southwest flights.  They are ALWAYS full.  Maybe that is how it is these days with most airlines.

I should probably preface this leg of the trip with this statement – I am not always thrilled to have people in my “space”.  I have a daughter who “leans” into my space, Even as we walk. I am constantly “moving” her back into her own lane.  See, from early on, I have been telling folks to stay in their own lane! So – an occasional drift is fine, but hugging the dotted line is not!

Back to the story…. but first this tidbit… I did sit in the “re-charge your battery lounge” and had the privilege of overhearing someone’s sister detail why it was her brother had passed away – after all, one grows weary of rehabilitating after being shot on three separate occasions. SMH…. you can’t make this stuff up.

Finally, time to board for Raleigh/Durham. B7 is my place in line – if you don’t fly Southwest – just ignore that bit of info.  I was fortunate to find a window seat.  I excused myself past the lady on the aisle and got buckled in.  The middle seat remained empty – for a long time – but not long enough. I had turned my Kindle on, determined to get reading about Hollow City, when along came Mr. Jawbone. I just really would like to know how it is I get so lucky with strangers. Please…

Mr. Jawbone appears to be talking to himself as he comes down the aisle and climbs over aisle lady – not giving her the opportunity to get out of her seat completely.  He is about 5’6” tall and maybe 175 pounds.  Not a big guy.  He is rapidly chomping on his gum. I am glued to my Kindle.  I don’t have the strength for another nervous traveller.He DROPS into his seat. I mean PLOPS into it… leaving no doubt in anyone’s mind that he is present and accounted for.

The whole time he is talking  ….”no”… “I don’t know”… “there is plenty of overhead space”…. “I DON’T know” … “where are you?”.  All in a hushed voice.  What are we talking about here?  What is your plan Mr. Jawbone? I begin to look around the plane to see if I can locate the other party.  He is not looking at them, as he is bent over looking at the floor.  I remember Donna’s word.. “maybe it is my time”.  By the end of the flight – I wished it had been.

He finally stopped having his crazy one sided conversation only to settle in for the flight. Apparently, unknown to me, both inside arm rests belong to the person in the middle seat. As does any other room that his royal highness needs for his comfort.  He had significantly shorter legs than I, yet he needed to sit in such a fashion that his “stance” made his knees cross into my space as well as aisle lady’s space. Not accidentally, not for a short period of time – but purposely planted that way for the whole flight.  Really?  Are there other people in this row sir?  Do you have ANY idea what the invisible boundary lines are here?  Where is your flashing sign that says “WIDE LOAD”?????

Well things just got better as time went on.  For some reason, he could not seem to be “engaged” with the flight attendant in order to place his drink order when the rest of the row did – even though he never got out of his chair – no he just ignored her.  Then he had to squirm around in “his “ space twice in order to get her attention to ask for coffee, cream and two sugars.  In anticipation of the pretzels and peanuts that would soon arrive, Mr. Jawbone, with his well developed decorum, reached into the seat back pocket and ripped a corner from the flight magazine to wrap up his abused gum.  What does he do with said package?  Puts it back into the magazine.  Sir – you are disgusting and do you not care that we just saw you do this disgusting thing?  Nope, apparently not.

Yippee – here comes the snacks – always well ahead of the beverages.  He rips into these two packages like he has not had food in a month and proceeds to devour them while leaving a trail of crumbs and seasoning on his tray.  You ask “what happened to said crumbs?” Not so hard to figure out – he brushed them off onto the floor and because he was in my space as well as his own, onto me.  Praise the Lord – his coffee came.  I might add, that because he “ordered” out of order, his came before anyone else’s in our section- seems only fair- only to have him spill his coffee everywhere.  OMGEEEEEEE……………….

Arrival could not come fast enough, I could not get lost enough in my book, I could not adjust myself in my seat any further away from him.  He was everywhere. EVERYWHERE. So much noise from one person.  Did he know he had that effect on others?  Did he have any idea that his actions were impolite?  Did have ANY understanding of where his “lane” was?  No, I am sure he did not – he was so embedded in his own conversations and personal activity to notice anyone or anything else.

Compare this man to the lady of the previous flight.  Opposite ends of the spectrum. Both as noticeable, both far outside their lane and both intersecting my life.  I was a great seat companion to the “middle seat” for the first half of my journey but I cannot say that I offered anything of value to the “middle seat” on the second half of my journey.  So, how am I any better than all of the the annoyances that I felt he created in my life.  I did nothing to enrich his experience.  And by my lack of positive response (verbal or nonverbal) I did nothing to enrich his life. Donna walked away with a story about her first flight experience as well as a personal connection to two others. Mr. Jawbone did not. That is my fault. And it has probably been your fault in the past as well.  UGH – I hate when I am the one that has to do a better job.  But I do. I am sorry Mr. Jawbone – I know you were not “looking” for interaction, but I should have provided it. Even if you were in my lane.  Sometimes, we have to share – the lane – and sometimes it is not comfortable.
Next time, I need to do better.