We all have someone in our circle that we know has connections.  They can get tickets, reservations, cheaper prices, backstage passes, coupons, you name it.  Or maybe we know THE  person who is the performer, speaker, owner who can “get us in”. They say, “hey if you ever want to see so and so or visit such and such, just let me know, I have a friend”.  And I am sure that is a truthful invitation.  And, honestly – there is nothing,nothing, nothing wrong with this! If we have something to share, and we are willing and able to share it, we should share it.

You know this is coming….

BUT….

Then there is the person(s) who asks for those favors.  And sometimes, that is okay and sometimes it is not okay.  If the “asker” is a good friend or close family member, we are usually happy to make the connection for them.  If the “asker” is a fringe relative or family member….eehhh, now we may start to feel used.

So what’s the problem here?  Why, when we have offered, and someone takes us up on our offer does the possibility exist that we may then begrudge giving our gift?

I have a friend who works for a company in a big city that hosts big name artists for the summer.  This organization hosts a wide variety of today’s musical entertainment.  My friend works long hours as a producer for this organization.  He is connected. He can get you tickets. He has made lots of friends and acquaintances over the years.  I can’t imagine how often he is asked for free or discounted tickets.  And he is happy to do what he can. He is a “sharer”.   The issue becomes this…. at what point does asking for a favor/gift cross from sharing from our bounty to fulfilling someone else’s sense of entitlement?

This friend has an acquaintance he had not heard from in quite some time, text today to ask for tickets to tomorrow’s  performance. When my friend shared what he could get him – the acquaintance responded with basically “that is the best you can do?”

I certainly hope that all of you are choking on your spit right now!

We live in an age of entitlement.  I don’t know how basic manners have been abandoned in favor of asking for and/or taking whatever it is you want.  Reach out and grab the brass ring (some of you won’t know what that means…. google it) and be sure to push over the person in front of you. We seem to have convinced ourselves that “no one else will take care of us, so we need to take care of ourselves”. So grab what you can – feel no shame in asking someone to give you something. And don’t stop there- ask for the best that they have and be offended when they don’t give it to you.

Something has gone wrong with our families – we are not instilling respect into our children.  We allow them to be selfish, to think of themselves first, to cater to them as if it is our job to answer to their every need.  Lets buy them everything our money can afford, let’s teach them that they are always right. Allow them to make excuses for any of their behaviors.  STOP THIS!

It is our job as parents to teach manners, respect and boundaries.  All of that should be expressed in love and reinforced repeatedly in our homes. Children need to attend certain events, even when they don’t want to, they need to be in the presence of people they may not have anything in common with, they need to learn that no means no, not maybe or later. What that means is parents have to work at parenting.  You heard me – work at it.  You may not get it all right and you may not get the end result you want, but you still have to work at it.  You have to teach children how to behave with other people. That is a parent’s job.

If parents worked on manners, then we would have less adults who seem to feel that they can take whatever they want when they want it. No one is entitled to anything.  Gifts are just that – gifts.  Don’t demand the gift, then it is just an order fulfillment.

My friend is far more gracious than his casual acquaintance. He was more concerned about what he felt was his selfish reaction to the request. He was taught manners and sharing.  My friends mamma raised him better than the other guy’s mamma.  She did the necessary work. She trudged on through parenting, reinforcing correct behavior.

Please continue to share from your abundance -but if someone “expects” you to share, please do not feel guilty if you say no. Someone has to….