A number of years ago, our youngest son received a bank for a Christmas gift from an acquaintance of our family.  It was a huge Crayola crayon.  As a child, he would randomly drop change into it – but never much.  Over the years, he kept this bank in the corner of his closet and on occasion would add to the amount in the bottom.  It was heavy – pennies way a lot!  At some point, he took this bank to his apartment, and continued to add to it.  When he moved home a few weeks ago, we carried it out of the apartment, only to have the bottom come off and change was spilled everywhere!   I mentioned to him, as we were cleaning up these coins, that perhaps he should take it to the bank.  He said,” nah – there isn’t much here”.   

Fast forward a few weeks and I am in his room and again notice the crayon bank.  I mentioned again he should take it to the bank.  This time, he said, sure.  So I held three quart freezer bags open while he dumped in the change.  I said – “let’s guess how much is in there and the loser buys Sonic drinks”!  So I guessed about $82 and he guessed about $40.  

 

Off to the bank he goes… and shortly thereafter, my phone rings and he says that I have won!  Yes, free Sonic for mom!  I asked him how close I was… he said not very – the total in the crayon was $267.00!!! What the what???  Amazing what a few cents here and there add up to!

 

Pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters.

 

 I saw an analogy of coins and people the other day on social media.  Maybe you have seen it as well.  

 

Initially, this struck me as true.  

 

We do become wiser and more selective as we age.  We learn to know who to trust, what to invest in and who are truly our friends.  It seems that over time, the coin of “greater value”, the quarter, is what we should be collecting in our friendship bank.  It feels like the pennies often come up worthless or at least they fit the old adage of “you get what you pay for” when you have a bunch of pennies in your bank.

 

As an extrovert, this analogy is pretty tough for me.  While I wholeheartedly do not support the BFF craze that is going on with my kids generation (you can’t have that many BFF’s … how many “bests” can there be?), I often find so much value in the multitude and diversity of so many people (pennies) that I tend to want to know them all. So, as an extrovert, I tend to collect them.  Pennies (people). As I have gone through life I have banks of pennies(people) all over the place.  I also have some nickels, dimes and quarters in those banks, but mostly pennies. I like the pennies -for lots of reasons – but mostly because they add up. Or at least they are supposed to.

 

Here is the rub – the “coins” don’t always add up.  

 

You can’t take people to the bank and cash them in for something different.  They have the chance, in your bank, to become more and to increase in value to you and themselves, but you can’t make them into something they are never supposed to or want to become.  Pennies are not quarters. And this is why I am so often hurt and disappointed in my people piggy bank.  I am expecting the pennies to be the same as a quarter. After all, I have collected them all with the same vim and vigor. What we have here folks, is an unrealistic expectation of humanity that often leads to relationship pain for me.

 

The good news, for the extroverted me, is that the pennies are pretty and they have brought some enhancement, excitement and adventure to my life.  And because I have a lot of them, I have had some really great experiences!  The bad news is I feel pain each time one of them is lost from my bank. However, the quarters in my life are what have brought the most sustainable “change” and joy to me.  The quarters should be saved in a coin book (anybody still have those state quarter books…. don’t ask me about those… we have one for each in our family lol) so I can open that book and interact with that quarter over and over again.  I don’t see all “my quarters” very often, but I know that when I do -they will continue to be the ones that bring the greatest value to my life.

 

If you are a penny in my life – thanks for coming into my world and bringing a little of yourself to me. I realize now that I cannot change you into a quarter and I am happy to recall the brief but lasting impact you made for me.  And I have to continue to collect pennies, I just need to learn to not expect them to be more than what they are. 

 

 But if you are one of my prized quarters (and I have many), know that you have truly “changed” me.  You have “added” the greatest, ongoing influence on me.  You are each responsible in part for who I have become.

 
What’s in your piggy bank? As an extrovert, I hope that there is lots of “change” in there – but if not, I pray you each have at least a couple of quarters you can “count” on!