There is a joke among Christian ministry folks about Africa.  I don’t really know why we pick on this beautiful country, but we do.  It goes something like this:

 

 

Lord, I know you are calling me to full time ministry.  I am willing to do whatever you would have me do, go where ever you would have me go and be Jesus with skin on to everyone that I meet.  Ummmm – but Lord, please don’t send me to Africa!

 

 

These days, there are groups that take mission trips to Africa on a regular basis.  And every time I know someone who goes on these, they come home in love with the country and her people.  I actually know someone who is ready and willing to move there and teach while she ministers to the families of the village inside and outside of the classroom.  But, when I was pledging to serve Christ with my whole heart, I was part of a big group of folks who held out when it came to being sent to Africa. No way, no how did I want to go there.  I told God – anything, anywhere else – just not Africa!

 

 

The other day, my DH and I were talking about our little situation with me not being employed.  He speculated that perhaps it had not been the best move for me to accept a position with the college that eventually terminated me. If I had said no to that position, I would have still been employed by our local school district and working a full time job.  I indicated that the pay differential had been a great influence in our decision for me to move on.  We agreed that the 3.5 years at the higher pay may not ever equal out what I would have netted if I had stayed longer at a lower pay scale. Maybe we made the wrong decision. Bottom line – we couldn’t predict the future. And we still can’t. We  cannot even see the totality of this situation, in hindsight, with 20/20 vision. We just were speculating.

 

The bigger issue is to ask ourselves if there were “other things”, outside the realm of finances, that were the reason I moved to the college job.  And yes, there most certainly were.  Things that money cannot be tied to – impacts on our lives, good and bad and my impact on others.  All of those items have no financial value, but I would have missed out on emotional value.  So, no, giving up the sure thing (and honestly, if you knew the “system” in our school district, I would have been able to retire in the position I was in – no job loss threats at all) and taking the risk to move to a new environment was the right decision.  I had the opportunity to learn, grow and build new relationships. And the relationships alone, are more valuable than ANYTHING I could have taken away financially.

 

Back to Africa…

 

God never asked me to go there. Maybe He didn’t want to have that argument with me!  LOL!!  But he has asked me to go to some places that might have felt like Africa to me. Like… how about being a Pastor’s wife?  Ok, that probably equates to Siberia… Or, maybe, how about being a stay at home mom? (I never thought I would have children – I knew nothing about them what-so-ever! Plus, I was a “working woman” of the 1970’s!) If that is not enough, let’s take this city girl and move her into a field surrounded by corn, beans, cows and pigs. Or… how about we stand up for what is right, and we resign from the church, and go on welfare, with three young children?  Or – let’s move  to the middle of the country, I mean who chooses to live in Kansas (that is a joke… just relax) and discipline church members.  That, last part, in and of itself, is a suicide mission.  

 

Africa is looking awesome right about now!

 

But – I wasn’t asked to go to Africa – I was asked to do all of the other things previously mentioned. Some of them I made a deal with God over, some of them I begged Him to let me have, some of them I begged Him to let me walk away from. Have I done all of them well? Good golly, that is a resounding NO!  However, I have done them all.  Sometimes kicking and screaming – just ask my DH!

However, the question I ask myself, regarding the times when I turned God’s requests down, is what would have happened?  What have I missed? What impact could I have had or received?  I can’t answer those questions. And I really don’t think God is asking me to dwell there. Ultimately, I was the loser in those situations – God was not.

Moving forward, it seems that God does not want me to make a mistake this time and make the wrong choice – because there are no choices. I don’t have options before me. I don’t have pro’s and con’s. So I wait. I wait and live in the present tense.  I am about done with the dwelling on the past (let’s be honest, the pain of the past will always rear its ugly head, but it does happen less and less frequently). I want to embrace tomorrow – but it must be too soon. So I will wait. I will trust. I will remember that God is the ultimate provider. I will proclaim that He is able.

 

 

That is all.