Birthdays have always been important in our family.  This celebration is something that I brought to our marriage – my DH family, while certainly recognizing the special day, didn’t have all the “hoopla” that my family attached to this day. As our children grew, we had the big party with their friends and a smaller celebration with family.  Everyone always got to pick their favorite meal, their favorite cake (the family celebration had a homemade cake – the “friends” was usually purchased) and then the presents.  We have many memories of parties at roller skating rinks, laser quest, at our house with crafts, etc.  Here is the problem – at some point, you are no longer living at home, with your immediate family, for your birthday.  The party tends to disappear, the cake is non-existent and the presents usually end up being in the form of money. Kind of a let down.

 

One of our kids celebrated a birthday this week and it reminded me of a birthday celebration we had once for one of our other kids.

 

Our youngest daughter was celebrating with a large group of girls – a sleepover at our house.  It had to have been about her 10th birthday.  There were girls everywhere… the living room furniture was pushed to the walls, sleeping bags and wrapping paper filled the air.  I am sure there was pizza, pop and cake still lingering on the kitchen counter.  Giggles and whispering filled the house.  

 

The rest of the family had retreated to their respective spots to give the party “room” to celebrate and not have to deal with all the “girly” interactions.  Mom and dad finally to bed, younger brother to his room, older sister to hers and oldest brother to the basement where his room was located.

 

 

This story is about older brother.  You know – the first born child – the one that everyone thinks is perfect. Not so much….

 

Older brother, high school freshman, is feeling his oats.  He has his learner’s permit, but not a full license or his own vehicle.  He is involved in several activities in his new HS and is making some new friends.  That frontal lobe of his brain is not fully developed, so some of his new friend choices… well they are not greatest.   

 

We on the other hand, are the mean parents.  

 

We insist on always meeting new friends.  If our kids are going to new friends houses, we insist on visiting with the parents and finding out exactly who will be home when our child shows up.  Like I said, we are the mean parents.

 

New friend, with a full license, offers our new HS student a ride home from drama rehearsal one afternoon.  This is concerning to us… so we insist on coming outside and meeting this young man.  Have I mentioned that I have a “sense” about people? I have a sense about this young man. Therefore, HS son is advised that he may not ride with this young man again.

 

Back to the birthday party…

 

Everything has finally settled into a quiet rhythm and mom and dad have gone to sleep. We are awakened by the phone ringing well after midnight.  This is not unusual in our home as my husband is a pastor and he was often notified of illness, emergency or death in the middle of the night. He answers the phone and I hear him say: “Yes, I have a son by that name”, “He is asleep in his room”. “OK – I will be right there”.

He turns to me and tells me that our oldest son is waiting for him at the police station.

WHAT????

 

As he heads out the door to retrieve our errant child, I sit on the steps “in wait” for said child to arrive, making sure that all of the sleepover children remain soundly asleep. The longer I sat, the angrier I became. The longer I sat, the more ammunition I had prepared for this flesh of my flesh. The longer I sat, the longer the list of privileges lost became.

 

Finally –

 

Father and son arrive in the driveway.  As they enter the house, we all three silently walk to the son’s bedroom – to find a “pillow dummy” in his bed!  Yes… a pillow dummy, just in case we had walked downstairs in the dark we would have thought he was sleeping.  Seems he thought of everything.  Like the dummy, and waiting for the birthday party simmer down for us to go to bed, then out the backdoor, through the garage, through the dark yard, out the fence, across the yard next door, to the church parking lot where the above mentioned new friend was waiting for him to go joy riding. This ride also included two of his best friends without licenses. This ride led out of town, over the bridge that spanned the river AND included throwing firecrackers out of the car window for a little added excitement.  (We now refer to this bridge as “Firecracker Bridge”!)

Unfortunately for them, a city police officer was parked on a side street watching this escapade take place.  Unfortunately for them, they were all under the curfew age of 18 after midnight. Unfortunately for them, it wasn’t the week of Fourth of July when fireworks are legal in our state. And, Unfortunately for them, throwing firecrackers out of a car is never legal.  To make matters worse, one of the boys told the police officer that his name was the name of another friend who was not with them, the other young man was the son of a parole office in the city near by, and our kid… is the preacher’s kid.

 

Thankfully, for all of us, the officer simply gave them a stern lecture, called their parents and scared the daylights out of them. That was it.

 

For our son, jail time would have been better!

 

In my memory, this was the first time I ever used “choice” words with one of our children.  I remember it as if it were yesterday and exactly what I said.  Not that I am proud of that!  I also remember that he went on lockdown. I am sure he remembers that as well!  

 

Ah parenting…. I can’t wait until our precious grand-daughter does this to her father….

 

The person who had NO idea any of this ever occurred?  The birthday girl.  It was years later that we were laughingly remembering this event, when she asked “when did this happen?”  She was so disappointed that she had missed all the excitement!

 

Birthday parties…. gotta love ‘em! Especially the “unexpected” gifts!