Let me introduce you to Dexter.  Dexter is my DD new puppy.  Dexter is 12 weeks old. Dexter is not completely potty trained. Dexter is not completely people trained.  Dexter will sometimes walk with his leash and sometimes sit down and look around, confused by the outside world.  This little man does not understand why he cannot walk on tables or chew on shoes or the welcome mat.  He is unclear about the meaning of no- is it no right now, no forever or are you just playing with me?  He is frustrated that he has to go back in his kennel when he wakes up at 4:30 am to go outside. He has no comprehension that the cord he is chewing on, even though it feels good on his gums right now, may end up as a great be shock!   And seriously – why can’t he have a toad to play with??

Let me also mention that I am so grateful to have come to visit Dexter at this point in his life. He is adorable, loves, loves, loves his mommy, and is a sweet dog. And I am grateful that she has him in her life to love right now.  But he has taught me something. Something I was fairly certain of prior to visiting North Carolina – but now I am absolutely certain and I want to thank him for that certainty. I do not ever want a puppy to raise again.  That is not to say I do not want another dog – I have not figured that out yet.  But, not a puppy.  I don’t have it in me.  The constant “watching” is meant for someone younger.  I am certain of it. The chewing, the jumping, the trying to decide if it is time to go out, all of it … I don’t have the energy.  I don’t want to have the energy. Thanks Dex – for showing this to grandma.

Life is made up of seasons or time periods.  Particularly in regards to the people (and probably pets) in your life, namely your family.  I have always struggled with people who pine for the season that is past or long for the season that is coming.  I am certainly a planner,and sometimes a “borrower of tomorrow’s troubles”  but I don’t want to be a “longer”.  I think it is important to live in the here and now – what is happening today- at the very most what is happening in this time period.  I believe that we should be enjoying and learning from what is taking place in the present so that when it becomes the past, we have something valuable to take to the future. Getting stuck in a time period  is not healthy, and will eventually take you and your loved ones to no-where-ville.  You will just be stuck in past-ville.  Rehashing or remembering and not growing.  Not changing. Not realizing your full potential.  Or helping those in your life realize theirs.

My time is getting shorter – just because so much time has past.  I am not trying to be morose or fatalistic, just realistic.  More than half of my life has passed by.  And while I would like to be able to live another 58 years, I don’t want to go backwards to get that time.  I don’t want to be that person (she wasn’t all bad). I want to be the person that those times have made me.  That is why I am able to face this uncertainty in my life right now – I have had uncertainty before, and I moved through it to see what happened – not what happened in the situation, but what happened to me.  I have learned that “me” will be just fine.  I have learned that “me” will learn more things to take to the next season.  I have learned that “me” is important to the process and the outcome. I have learned that the “me” that is refined through these situations is deeper, richer, and wiser.
Be assured, I do not want to be stuck in this time period either.  I anticipate the day that the next time period will begin – however, I want to be sure to learn what is there to be learned now so that I maximize this time period. Making the most of each situation, allows us to take the most with us into the next situation.  I think that this is where wisdom is born.
So, no more puppies for me – that was then – this is now.  I want to spend my time with a self -actualized dog – one who knows when and where to potty, how to walk on a leash,that people can be their best friend  and that eating toads will get you a trip to the vet. I don’t need the experience of teaching a new puppy how to live in this world.  Been there, done that…have an entire box of those t-shirts.  Nope, no puppies for this grandma … I will just visit you with yours and smile as I watch you learn from that time period. Ok – well I might offer some advice…. hush – no comments from the peanut gallery.