It has been so hot these last few weeks, that the hubster and I have taken to doing our outside chores in the evening.  This way we avoid the extreme heat and nightfall encourages us to stop after a reasonable amount of time.  See – we are older and heavier and we need to “be careful”. In fact, I gave this admonition to my DH on Saturday afternoon, after he spent the morning with his SUV buddies restoring gravestones.  He came home exhausted.  I said “Why does a group of old men restore gravestones in 100 degree heat!  You will all get sick.” To which he said….zzzzzzzz taking a nap….. (SUV you ask?  Sons of Union Veterans… well it has a more official name, but this is good enough for here… besides, I don’t remember it!) Anyway… so mowing, trimming, rescuing the garden and flowers from WEEDS all is happening after 7pm, so we do not over-extend ourselves.  WOW – this makes me feel ancient!

After we finish, we sit for a few minutes on our patio – our little space of happy – and relax and hydrate before calling it a night. Unfortunately, our little space of happy, is also the happy place of a large brood of mosquitoes.  UGH!  They are everywhere this year!  So we light the torches – and one evening had a fire- in hopes of banishing them and  nope, they love our happy place so much, none of that scared them away. Consequently – they have had a buffet the last two nights.  And I, for one, do not wish to feed them again!  I mean really, did they ALL need to bite me?  I am covered with mosquito bites.

I was happy to read several days ago that there is a “cure” for the mosquito bite itch… of course I read it .. you know where.. on the internet.  You are supposed to use a metal spoon, run it under very hot water and hold the hot spoon on the bite for a minute.  OK – I have a spoon, hot water and tons of bites.  I am the perfect candidate!

So, lets see how this works.  Of course, many of my bites are in places that are difficult to reach because of my shoulder replacement,and, ahem, my weight issue – but I am determined.  I run my hot water over my spoon and place it on the bite.  Ouch – it’s hot and hurts (so a word of advice – don’t do this to little ones). But I am a “tough old goat” and hold it on the bite ready to count my minute.  One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three.. welp the spoon is cold. Back to the hot water.  One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three… spoon is cold again! So there is no chance of (in your best announcer voice)  “hold it on the bite for one minute” . Ok.. lets try a different bite… and off I go with my hot spoon all over my body for three seconds at a time.  Picture this in your mind…. a spoon that drips water, it is hot and I am reaching behind me and around me and well… don’t dwell on the mental picture too long. THIS IS RIDICULOUS!!! So I goggled other remedies for mosquito bites… one of them is honey.  Let’s just imagine what that would be like with the number of bites I have!  Or basil… pretty soon I will be a salad!

The real question is: did the hot metal spoon take the itch away?  Yes it did… for a short period of time.  And anywhere that a bite rubs on my clothing, it was a VERY short period of time.  So, this remedy works – just not for long.  And the directions said that it would take the itch away permanently. Nope.

I am sure many of you are also struggling with mosquito bites this season.  My advice? Go and buy some Afterbite at the store and if you have them in weird places on your body, have a “friend” help to treat them.  Hot spoons are not the way to go!