I have had the privilege to be present either during or shortly thereafter at a number of births. Four of them were my own, several were friends and/or folks from the churches where we served and two were with young gals experiencing “crisis pregnancies”.    There is nothing quite like the trauma and the excitement that goes along with this “blessed event”.  

 

The trauma can be wrapped up in morning sickness, sore bodies, exhaustion as well as the fear of delivery – in whatever form that comes.  Not to mention the trauma of thinking about having to take this little bundle home and try to figure out the morse code they spit out in whimpers and screams!

 

The excitement wraps itself around the thrill of the unknown, the concept of making an impact in someone else’s life, the wonder of the knitting together of this small human now looking at you as if to say “so – what do you have in mind for this time we have together?”.

 

The most recent birth I had the honor of being nearby for was that of our granddaughter. Those of you who are grandparents know this feeling – the one that says “oh my gosh – my child is now a parent”. The one that is like an out of body experience – as you look at this baby who is part of you – but in some distant connection. The child you “created” has now “created”.  It is mind boggling. But the boggling is all wrapped up in the emotion of love and joy and excitement.  All you can think is “let me hold that baby!”  

 

This parent, me, is in a kind of sandwich generation place.  

 

I have a grandchild and I am still not quite done with the raising of our youngest child. (And yes, my DH and I are raising him as a team – but am going to only speak for myself here.) And I know this is not the official definition of the sandwich generation. So I find myself seeing pretty clearly what it means to be a parent.  I get to see with 20/20 vision. The beginning and the end so to speak.

 

Here is my take away today:

 

I believe, that other than the physical reasons, God gifts us with children in infant form in order to allow us to fall in love with them so that we can handle loving them as they age.

 

 

Lets face it – if our children arrived at the terrible twos – would we have the stamina to manage that everyday if we hadn’t already fallen deeply in love with them?  If that awkward 13 year old, that was flesh of your flesh, arrived into your family, would you have the patience to teach them the things responsible people need to learn?  What if we got our kids from 18 and they had to be completely taught the ways of the world while they believed they were already adults?

 

Disclaimer:

I know that there are amazing parents out there who do just what I mentioned above when they adopt a child.  These folks are and should be heros to us everyday parents.  They are people who are able to love immediately without condition.  They are rock stars!  I am not talking about these folks….

 

So God, in his infinite wisdom said – I believe parenting should begin with the helpless infant.  Let the parent see this adorable, completely dependant, interactive little human that they then fall head over heels in love with BEFORE all the “good stuff” starts. Because, once the “good stuff” starts, they (the parents) will need to be completely convinced that they love this alien, oh I mean human,  or the energy spent on raising them would not seem to be worth their time and effort.

 

Are you with me?

 

Parents of babies – be thankful for the sleepless nights of your little angel crying or waking you up to be fed.  It is far better than the sleepless nights waiting for that new driver to get home from their first long distance trip. Be thankful for the screaming for “who knows what” because one day there will be words that they scream, and trust me they will figure out how to be hurtful.  Be thankful for the things that they touch that are off limits, because one day those off limit things will be life changing, not just a momentary “ouchie”.

 

But – parents of babies- please do fall head over heels in love with that little bundle of joy.  And bask in that feeling, rejoice in the thrill and celebrate the passion because one day, that love will be tested.  One day they will think and act for themselves and there will be times that you will disagree with their choices, mourn for their losses and be angered with their decisions.  Those days, you will be glad that you are head over heels in love with them, that nothing they do or say can change that, and that you are grateful for each moment that you have with them.

 

Most of all – tell them.

 

Yes, show them – but tell them.  I LOVE YOU. I love you. I love YOU. Because some of the stuff they say and do will be un-lovely.  And you will need to draw on that love to respond to the unlovely.

 

And thank God – that you got them as a baby.